Can't sleep!

I am having trouble falling asleep.  Everyone else is sleeping in my little nook of the world, except me.  I have always had trouble falling asleep, but I have taken the requisite Tylenol PM, needed to kick a headache as well, and still nothin'.  Well, the headache is gone.  I guess that's something.

I am stewing over some things tonight.  I am avoiding this impending holiday, and for no real reason.  I have not yet felt the sweetness that was there last year.  My baby sister is in the middle of a divorce and that has been...well among other things, a reminder of times I have since filed away.   I say filed because I never really let it all go.  I don't think that I can afford the therapy sessions required to truly put it all in its place.  I'm ok with it being there, reminding me to be grateful for my present full life.  I am happy to have the companionship of that memory when I am feeling particularly overwhelmed and I can honestly say to myself, "it could be worse".  The thing is that now I am watching my sister go through it.  While some days are good and some are bad, the ending of a marriage is always heartbreaking, for all parties involved, even us somewhat innocent bystanders.  I am praying for relief for that little family in the coming weeks as they sort our their lives, and separate the lines that have kept them together for nearly 7 years.  Even under the best of circumstances, that dissection is painful.

In other news, Christmas is surely coming whether I am ready or not.  I am ready, for the most part, and I have baked and made candies and decorated and such, but I can't say that I am there yet.  Why is that?  I have no idea.  What I do know is that Brittany is coming with her family, a treat worth every holiday and then some and Michael and his family will get to be here as well, a rocking good time with getting so many of the little ones together.  I am looking forward to the pajama shot on the stairs of my home, where we line them all up, in as smooth a way as possible, and then shoot as many cameras as possible at them hoping to get one good picture.  I am afraid that the children are feeling sort of separate from Christmas as well.  Magic is missing at the moment.  Even the Elves have been quiet.  Gingie has been downright LAZY.

So, tomorrow I wake and hope to bring the magic to life for these four babies and all of the incoming little ones.  I am so happy for all of the families that get there children home for the Holidays and truly can't wait to have so many of them here, under one roof...yep, mine...for what I pray will be a sweet, memorable, if not colorful Christmas season.

There will be pictures soon.  Promise!

I really want to sleep!!!!!!!!

Scissors and Squirrels

Scissors

Ok, so it's been awhile.  Things have been rather, well...busy.  I could not let this one pass though.  In my morning of phone calls and reality avoiding, I had Kierstin home with me today.  We woke up early and had a long list of things to do.  Let's not forget the reality avoiding that was going on.  So, Kierstin comes in and says to me "I cut my hair".  Well, I see the scissors in her hand and think to myself, she looks normal...I mean, I don't see any obvious damage.  I take the scissors from her and give her a little talking to about not using scissors.  She wanders away.  I then walk into the kitchen where I was met with that!  That image of little lovely locks on the floor.  Uh-huh.  She had cut it.  My response was something akin to feeling great anguish over a missing pet or lost talent show.  ;)  She begins to melt.  MELTTTTTTT.  She is crying and apologizing and saying she wants to be a big girl. Debatable who was more sad at that moment, though her performance was much better than mine.  I obviously had to take her to a professional for redemption and the photos that follow outline what happened next.  I have a sweet little ponytail of her baby hair that could no longer stay attached to her three year old body.  She is growing up fast and finding trouble from time to time.  Can't stop loving that little face and despite my love for her long hair, she is cute with this cut as well.  As a friend said, "very sassy".

And now for the squirrels.

This little creature, cute and cuddly and fun to watch scamper through the yard and laugh at their antics...that little thing that tortures Atticus and loves it...this little thing that we love to see in the trees...THAT little mongrel is chewing up my Christmas lights on the roof.  Chewing right through the power cords, I tell you.  Who knows how to cook a squirrel???

What is it about divorce that makes people so mean?

Ok, so as some of you know, my baby sister Kristen is in the beginning phase of getting a divorce.  Divorce on any terms is a miserable process.  Trust me.  When there is a child involved, it can either be

3 Weeks?!?!?!?!?!?!

I feel as if this has snuck up on me.  Let me be clear: I haven't purchased or made ONE gift!  NOT ONE!  Now, I am a pretty good planner, not great on the execution, but I know how to make lists.  I don't even have a list.  I looked at the calendar and Christmas Eve is EXACTLY three weeks away.  In the middle of that space of time I am headed to Vancouver for 4 days.  Fun, yes, exciting!  Yes, but I can't believe that I haven't done anything yet.  How in the world did I do this to myself?

What are you doing for Christmas gifts?  You may have to double up to make up for my gift deficiency.