The things we should have known but wouldn't listen to!

I have been musing over a few things lately and can't keep myself from jotting them down. The thoughts were clear and articulate in my head. Not sure if it will translate in writing but let's give it a go, shall we?

Things I wish that I had been told when I was 25...aka things that I wish I would have believed when I was surely told before I was 25. I have stated before that I was much smarter in my younger days, at least I believed that. I was very wrong.

1. Smile!
     Think about it. 99.9% of people you pass on the street, in your car, in a shopping center or grocery store, at school, at church...everywhere...they are all guarding a broken heart. I am sure that the breaks vary and the intensity is sure to be felt in degrees. Make no mistake; however, the broken hearts are there. You don't recognize it at first. But if you wait for it, listen for a second, stand close enough to someone, pay attention...you will see it.
     See, for many years I lived with a severe case of inferiority. I looked at everyone else and believed that they all had it figured out. I was never terribly shy or afraid of being vocal, but I lived believing that others were more talented or spiritual or intelligent, or better at parenting or being a wife. You name it, I believed that everyone else, anyone else, was better at it than I was. And I was ok with that. I thought I just had a lot to learn. Truth is that many of them are better at many things than I am and I celebrate that now!
    Instead of seeing those things now; however, I wonder what their stories are. What has broken their hearts? What are they guarding? What are you hoping for today? What can I do to make this moment just a little better? Sometimes all you can do is smile, a genuine smile that shares that you wish them well, that you see them and want them to feel your warmth just for that second. It won't fix anything, maybe not. But it might just be the only smile they get all day.

2. Breathe!
    Easy right? I hear that said a lot. Just breathe! Childbirth? Yep, just breathe. Idiots! It hurts too much to breathe through it, right? While I am still not sure that breathing will ease the pain of childbirth, I do know that it can and will center you. Give you a moment to stop. Now, I breathe much better by the ocean myself but I can also highly recommend breathing from the quiet of your closet or your car, or my personal favorite, your shower. Breathe deeply. Count to 10. Find your center. Whatever terminology speaks to you...do it!

3. Socialize!
   Oh this one is easy. Well, it should be. Get together with your friends! Make new friends if you don't have that kind of tribe yet. I have been giving serious thought to creating a women's group for women who aren't in a group yet! I see pictures of friends who have amazing get togethers and play games and have Scarf or Earring or Ornament or some other kind of exchanges at Christmas and I think to myself...I want to be in a group like that! I just never take the time to really socialize! I spend so much time being mom and wife that I have to force myself to be just Heather sometimes. Don't do that!!!

4. Get pretty!
     Ok. Disclaimer. I sell makeup. I know that might seem to come with the territory as one who markets beauty products but let me explain. Do you know how many people tell me that they just don't have time to do makeup and hair right now? Or go to the gym? (I am on that list!)  I am not one that needs to make a point about taking time for myself, though maybe I should! But let's be clear, you MUST take care of yourself. You MUST! Wash your face before you go to bed. Wear moisturizer. Spend some time in a warm bath. Pay attention to how YOU feel about what you look like before you leave the house, not because anyone else's opinion matters but because your opinion DOES!

5. Read!
   Ok, this is more for me as I want so much to be able to take time to read something special! There are so many amazing writings! Feed your brain! How can we serve others, including ourselves, if we are neglecting our most precious commodity?  Do you know what kind of literature speaks to you? When is the last time you read a good book? Back when Oprah was still on network tv and shouting about her favorite things?  (I do miss those episodes) Seriously friends...pick something. Read for 10 minutes if you have to. Just read!

BONUS:
    Stop being so hard on yourselves. Please. You are so much more amazing than you think you are. More than many people realize. You can't really blame them for not seeing it if you don't believe it yourself. Find something that makes your heart sing. Serve someone. Dance more. PLAY! Watch stupid tv from time to time. Veg out...you know, lay like broccoli! :) Sleep in! Hug people! LISTEN! Speak...no one knows unless you share. That broken heart you guard might just be healed a little by sharing it with someone willing to listen. And always, always find something to laugh about!

What advice do you wish you had listened to in your twenties?