Why weight?

Ok, for those of you who have noticed the weight scale recently added to my scale...I have digressed. I have gained back the two pounds plus one more. Now, the thing that bothers me more than the gaining three pounds, which really does by the way, I am more aggravated at myself for caring enough about the number on the scale but not at all about doing anything to change it. I don't want to go to the gym. It's not because I don't enjoy working out because I kind of do once I get there. It's just that it is such a process. It is laziness but with balancing the kids and where they are and what they need and then making sure that it all works is irritating. I don't AT ALL want to count calories. The idea is so offensive to me for some reason. I want to just eat to feel satisified and not have to think about it. I am developing something of a hate for food and cooking, which is silly I know. I want to enjoy the process of eating and feeding my family...and I don't want to keep gaining weight. I want to eat well enough to lose the weight. I want to have the discipline to go to the gym because it is what I want to do not because I have to. I don't want to be the girl who is obsessed with what my weight is or whether or not I worked out today. I don't want to ever care that much. I don't want my children thinking that they have to be obsessed about it either. There is so much more to life that gym time and BMI!!! I am ranting, trust me, I know that. I am just so irritated about the whole thing. I care, my body cares, maybe no one in society really cares but I think they do. I know that it is something that must be given proper attention, but not every time I eat or think about what's for dinner. It's just so silly to me. Of course that's why I weigh 176 pounds today. I have not cared for nearly every meal that we have eaten out this week. I have to declare a moratorium on eating out, at least for myself. It's too much. ok, i am silly for being so bugged about this...but I am so not this person and it is annoying me.