I wasn't feeling it this year. The warm, yummy feeling that generally accompanies the Season simply never truly settled in for me. Don't get me wrong, there were sweet moments and I enjoyed Christmas, but there were many times that I found myself looking forward to December 26th. I tried to figure out why this year was different for me. Why was I so out of it? I didn't do cards. I didn't bake. I didn't do gifts for friends or neighbors or most of the wonderful staff that teach my children. I didn't even make it to church last Sunday for the traditional Christmas service. (that was way beyond my control though...more later) I did my Christmas shopping in the span of about 3 days just before Christmas...some even happened ON Christmas Eve itself. I am not an organized person but this is a time of year that I can generally be found with lists and schedules and excited plans for savoring the Season. My favorite moments of this years Holiday festivities were far more simple...could have missed them if I had been worried about the bigger things I did not accomplish.
Finding balance got slightly more difficult this year as I am now working a full time job, which I love. (which is a good thing because the pay is not great) What I get in lieu of a great paycheck; however, is beyond price. The unconditional love from these incredible spirits is priceless. The best hugs ever are given in that special needs classroom. The smiles of recognition from a boy who is stuck inside his own little head are immeasurable. Those kids have humbled me in many ways. The teachers that I work with, in and out of this class, have shown me what it means to love and sacrifice for other people's children, whether the parents realize the sacrifice or not. I have always believed that we each have certain callings in our lives but it never occurred to me that we might have more than one at different times in our lifetimes. I have found a new part of myself in this particular calling/ job. Remembering what it means to love unconditionally is their gift to me.
Holidays rarely happen without a solid dose of drama. The drama for us came on a Sunday morning when the s@#t quite literally hit the fan...well, it hit more than fans over here. It started pouring in around 8:30 that morning and gave us quite the holiday magic for nearly six hours. Needless to say...it was an adventure. We now have repairs and clean-up to do that we were not planning on. We are living for the silver lining though...new floors, new paint, new cabinets, new hall bathroom. I am sure that there are other new things that we have not yet realized are coming given the extent of the damage. I got to see a side of my boys that I had not seen before. They got in that mess and worked tirelessly beside their father for hours and hours without complaint. They were awesome. I am grateful for their ability to work hard. When the "dust" had settled and we looked around at the mess all Larry and I could do was hug each other and see that it could have been worse. We now just laugh about it...most of the time. There are moments that I find myself getting kind of grumpy about it...several moments actually. (2 days before Christmas? REALLY?) And then we just move on. I am sure that I will get grumpy several more times before it's over with but for now I will spend more time on houzz.com searching for floor and paint ideas.
So it's nearly 2014. Oh I can't even get there yet. I will just remain in my slightly delirious state for the moment. You just never know what might come up next in our house...but hey, as the saying goes...shit happens. (it really, really does.)
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