Oh. Wow.

That is all I can say.  I feel as if a train has just plowed through my week and I am left at the end of it trying to figure out what happened...was I there...and what did I forget?  It's late right now, and despite well earned sleep, it is keeping its distance.  I am tired, of course, but I am still pretty wound up.  As you may have already heard, I spent some time in the ER tonight with my little Kierstin.  Her head made contact with the corner on a wall in our home and the wall won.  It's funny, because I try to find that moment when it happened and all I can really go back to is that I had just taken a shower, wet hair and all, had picked up a rotting apple that she had left on my dresser and on my way to throwing it out I heard the impact and subsequent breathless cries that always spell disaster.  The apple is, as it happens, still sitting right here on my desk.  It didn't make it to the trash can.  The next ten minutes were fast, and painfully slow all at the same time.  Kaden and Kyra?  Where can I send them?  Who do I call?  Kyra suggests the neighbors home, which under normal circumstances I might have done, but it was my level headed 8 year old who conjured it first.  Of course, I say.  Two down, now Kimball.  (oh, and put some clothes on for crying out loud.  still in a robe, with wet hair!)  Clothes?  Check.  Kimball dropped off.  Check.  Driving to the hospital starting to worry about blood and head injury and don't let her fall asleep and all of the other stayoutofmywayIamonthewaytothehospital thoughts you might have...all while trying to remain calm, for her.  We made it.  The ER trip was actually faster than I thought it might be.  They were wonderful with her.  And with me.  She watched tv.  She drank chocolate milk, delivered to her by our wonderful Michelle.  Have I mentioned yet that she was wearing her favorite pink snowflake dress that I am pretty sure all of the metroplex has seen her in now?  Yes, she was.  And she was worried about whether or not the blood would come out.  I, secretly, am hoping that they won't and that she will find the need to select new favorites.  Not likely.  So, all is well until they cheerfully decide its time to staple her together.  Staples.  Could Humpty Dumpty have been saved with staples?  Exactly.  And...they have to come out.  Uh, that means another doctor visit.  Another trauma.  And she will be mad too!  HA!  So, it was fast, but not painless.  All she wanted, besides the elephant, chocolate milk, Michelle, me, and to get the heck out of there, was Larry.  That was the most difficult moment.  As we left she asked if it was time to get Daddy.  When I told her we could call him instead, she lost it.  Not tears that indicated the staples in her head, but the tears you have when someone finally asks you if you are ok, and you aren't.  The tears that come when the end of the day can't come fast enough and one more child yells, one too many times.  The tears that come when you have had your head hit the wall, blood on your favorite dress, staples!!!  and you just want to see Dad, and you can't.  That made me choke a bit.  A lot actually.  She sleeps now, holding that pink elephant, hair still highlighted with red that she wouldn't let me wash out yet, on Dad's side of the bed.  How I love her.  How grateful I am for friends who stepped in to help out, for family that loves her as much as we do, for the blessing of being able to put her back together and bring her home to children who were anxious to see her ok.  Today.  I am tired.  Today.  I want stability.  I am counting down the days for Larry's return, as is he.  I have no doubt that while this is hard on me, it is quite possibly harder on him.  I am grateful to have work, and healthy children.  I am also really looking forward to a normal Saturday night, without sickness or blood or tears or...well, what am I saying?  I have four children.  That would be altogether foolish of me to wish for all of that.  Perhaps I should start with getting some sleep.  Good night all.