Spent the day at Great Wolf Lodge with 8 girls to celebrate Kyra's birthday. I learned A LOT. First, it was reiterated to me that I know nothing...really. Teen girls are...
Yeah.
I was struck by something. As we walked into the water park area...well, let me set the scene for you first. It's 102 outside and kids are everywhere. The indoor water park seems the ideal place to go and cool off and have fun. It was also a destination for some kind of cheerleading convention. That added to the curiosity. People watching takes on a new dimension when you watch adults watching teenage girls walk in. It's disgusting. These little girls do not look like little girls though. Perfectly tanned, tiny bikinis, physically fit girls everywhere. They certainly don't look old enough for these men to be ogling but they don't look as young as they actually are. They are trying so hard to grow up. It's painful to watch. Something about them caught my eye at one point. Many of them were walking around with their arms folded. That would not ordinarily seem odd but to see a row of young people walking around on a warm day in a place where they should be able to just relax and have fun was strange. I was busy chasing down my own crew so I quickly let the thought go. When I found a spot to set up and keep an eye on my crew I could then enjoy true people watching again. There it was. Arms crossed over tanned tummies. Everywhere. It was most definitely not cold in there. And then I saw an older woman walking across the pool doing the same thing. She was no longer young or tanned or fit and she walked in such a way as to beg to not be noticed. She had her arms crossed too. As I looked back to these groups of young people it occurred to me that they, too, were trying to hide themselves. Hide their bodies. These beautiful, healthy young women felt inadequate. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to tell them all how beautiful they were but we don't live in a society that takes well to strangers saying such things to our kids so I refrained. I wanted to shake them and tell them to enjoy themselves. Not to worry. They have, for all intents and purposes, long full lives ahead of them with all manner of insecurities sure to come. About this point I was walking over to find my youngest daughter and I realized that I was doing the exact same thing. Crap! I was hiding. I was embarrassed. I was insecure. Now, in fairness, I need to take much better care of myself BUT I also need to be kinder to myself. As I settled back into people watching I decided to look for those who walked proudly, without hesitation. What was it about them that made them different? Perfect bodies? No. Many were far from perfect but they looked amazing. All sizes and shapes and ages. Then I decided to get over myself a little and practice being THAT girl for a minute. And guess what??? No one noticed me more or less than they had with my arms folded. Know why? Because no one cares! We were all there to have fun and make memories with our loved ones and some of us were letting our own insecurities hinder that.
Now these would-be women in the bodies of little girls were interesting. Why do they want to grow up so fast? Why are they in such a hurry and why do we promote it? One day you will look at them and see that the little girl is gone. It will be many years before she realizes that she would give anything to be that young again, to slow down and enjoy those years. Insecurity is a brutal and sneaky weapon. It tears at each of us individually on THE level that will get to us the fastest. We try so hard to fit in that we forget ourselves. It is the very best parts of us that we stifle in order to feel acceptance. While it's slightly different as adults, it's just a shadow of what we endured in school and swore we would never participate in again. Fitting in is so unbearably overrated!
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