January has come and gone...

...and I don't know that I feel as if we are moving in the direction I craved at the beginning of this month.  I don't know if I can honestly say that I actually remember what the goals, or resolutions, were.  I do know that I was craving creativity and balance, momentum and grace.  When the year began I thought of menus and planning as well as ways of improving myself and those around me.  I wanted to project a new focus into the lives of my children.  I know that it starts with me and in the first week I saw that.  I felt in relative control, so to speak.  Somewhere in the middle I got tired, or busy, or both and just settled comfortably back into the warmth of routine.  Habit.  The things we do without even thinking about.  Not bad, really, just not producing the ideas and hopes and movement that I would like.  

I have spoken recently of auditioning for this play.  I have even set the appointment.  I went to the theater and marveled at their talent and a life well loved and left a few years ago.  It is a part of me, it is in me and I doubt that will ever change.  But can you go back?  Can you compete with actors who crave it still, daily and train and work and eat and sleep this craft?  Maybe.  Maybe it is not my turn to audition yet, but to pick up where I left off and study again.  Practice again.  Many years ago I worked on a play that I was not equipped for, a role that I had no way of living up to.  I had not lived enough to do it justice.  I have lived a lot more life and could now give honesty to portrayals such as that one.  That I can say I know for sure.  This is me thinking out "loud" and working through this question again.  I have felt this tug many times.  I watched the SAG awards recently and felt that pull as I listened to so many actors proclaim their pride and being called an actor.  I don't want to be an actor for any reason other than that I love it and it sort of chose me.  I think I might have continued singing more if it weren't for a couple of well placed shows in my high school days.  Reconnecting with some of those old friends has rekindled and reminded me of some wonderful times.  What does all of this mean?  Well, one, that I am considering holding off on the audition but signing up for one of the acting classes they teach at that theater and two, that I want to go back to simple, once again.  Maybe resolutions should be set and re-set every 30 days, keep ourselves connected to what we want for ourselves while dulling the sound of habit that keeps us from doing more.  Being more.

If you have read this far, you must either be very bored or a very good friend.  

Darn Weather

First, I just had to share this.  How can those little feet and those worn out pigtails and her insistence on not wearing pants that day, along with her mountain of sprinkles intended for the ice cream waiting to be enjoyed not bring a smile at the end of this week?

It made me feel better to look at this when I learned that Portillo's will not be here in time for our Super Bowl Party on Sunday.  I know.  I am disappointed as well.  It is because of the weather that gripped the country this week.  Specifically gripping Addison, IL where my Party Pack of authentic Chicago dogs is coming in from.  No one can even tell me when to expect this shipment that was due here yesterday.  Now I have to find another cool idea, at the almost last minute.  Philly Cheesesteaks or Skyline Chili?  Taco Bar?  Something new?   (Yes, this is the biggest hurdle of the day so I am quite grateful for that, but STILL!)

And, in other news, Larry leaves on Monday for quite a lengthy trip.  It may interfere with any ideas I have of auditioning right now.  I did go see a performance at that theatre last night and it was absolutely fantastic.  I have a small confession and I know how crazy it sounds...I don't actually like seeing plays or musicals all that often.  Unless I know that they will be REALLY good.  Well, I wasn't sure but I can  tell you that I would see nearly anything that this theatre does from now on.  It was truly incredible. 

That's all for now.  Think of something fun for Sunday, though the Chicago dogs will be missed.  

The "Hallelujah" Chorus is Ringing through the halls!

They are headed back to school. 

I know, take a moment and just let that soak in.  I love my children, don't get me wrong.  But my four babies along with one or two or six extra kiddos from across the neighborhood make for a very busy, loud and sometimes frustrating break.  By yesterday afternoon the children were all bouncing off the walls.  I will say though that in the last two days my house has gotten incredibly clean.  Incredibly.  Clean.  Larry is home for a few more days before he heads out to Washington DC and then somewhere in Louisiana for the BASS Championship.  And then he delicately approaches the subject of the Winter Olympics again.  He is set to go out to run some test events for about a month, that I already know...but they are asking him to reconsider coming on full time until the Games.  Full time?  I don't know yet what that means but I will keep you posted.  I do know that he is nervous about the economy so he may well take it.  But it wouldn't be the kind of thing that would move all of us up to Vancouver for a year.  Yikes.  We shall see.  Maybe I shouldn't be auditioning after all.  

To that end, I did set up an audition time.  I am wavering on which role to audition for.  I don't pass for 23, for the daughter...but I don't pass for the mother of a 23 year old yet either.  I hope I don't.  It's not film though, so I guess you just audition and see what they have it mind.  Speaking of theatre.  As you know, I have spent some time on facebook lately.  I know, I have been cheating on my blog with facebook, not cool.  In that time; however, I have found so many old friends from long, long ago.  Kathie Kynerd and Deanna Boone from MS, so many actor friends from high school days and even the Wheeler family from Hatcher road way back in Florida days.  It is a fun trip down memory lane.  Distracting, but fun.  

So.  Kimball is now on his way to school and I am headed back to my bed until little k wakes up and calls my name.  It's the least I can do on this cold and foggy morning.

Holy Facebook Batman!

Who knew!  I have been stumbling around facebook the last couple of days and I have had the great fun of finding OLD pictures of ME in theatre from a long time ago.

You have to check it out.  

The Glass Menagerie

So.  It seems that some may believe that I ought to audition.  SO, I looked up the character descriptions and here is the part that I would audition for.  No laughter at the similarities please:

Amanda Wingfield

If there is a signature character type that marks Tennessee -Williams's dramatic work, it is undeniably that of the faded Southern belle. Amanda is a clear representative of this type. In general, a Tennessee Williams faded belle is from a prominent Southern family, has received a traditional upbringing, and has suffered a reversal of economic and social fortune at some point in her life. Like Amanda, these women all have a hard time coming to terms with their new status in society—and indeed, with modern society in general, which disregards the social distinctions that they were taught to value. Their relationships with men and their families are turbulent, and they staunchly defend the values of their past. As with Amanda, their maintenance of genteel manners in very ungenteel surroundings can appear tragic, comic, or downright grotesque. Amanda is the play's most extroverted and theatrical character, and one of modern American drama's most coveted female roles (the acclaimed stage actress Laurette Taylor came out of semi-retirement to play the role in the original production, and a number of legendary actresses, including Jessica Tandy, have since taken on the role).

Maybe I could give it a shot.  :)  I suppose I could come out of semi-retirement to play such a coveted role...if they'll have me.  And even if they won't, I will have done it.  Wahoo!

Projects for the sake of Projects

Ok.  Larry has called me out.  Is it true?  Could it be?  Am I THAT person?

Do I take on projects for the sake of projects?  Is it possible that I seek out the work and distraction of projects just because?  Case in point:

I had a little "Room Mom" meeting this morning. (I am that person)  In that meeting it was shared that a particularly unkind individual would likely be our PTA president for the next two years.  Most sane people would not care, why do I care?  WHY DO I CARE?  I proceed to utter the words, "I would rather get back in a board position as VP with another clueless mom like myself than have this other person in that role."  WHAT!   I would absolutely NOT want to be on the board again.  Not under any circumstances.  Rest easy, I did not share that little thought with anyone that would actually take me up on it.  But still.  WHAT WAS I THINKING!

And then, just a couple of days ago I made what I believed to be a pretty good decision.  I thought that it was time for me to let go of the idea of acting again, ever.  EVER!  Now, some of you know what that means and some of you may think I should have thought that a long time ago.  I felt pretty good about it.  Until.  I opened an email from a local theatre who is auditioning for "The Glass Menagerie" in two weeks.  I don't know that I am right  for either of the roles in the play but the thought of it made  me a little giddy.  I actually pulled out the script, read a bit of it and started formulating  a plan, as if I would be cast in this play at the respected theatre.  Now I am not suggesting that I don't have, or once had, the talent to pull it off... but I mean, really?  I was ready to be done and move into a new phase.  Well, recognize that I had moved into that place a LONG time ago.

And then, there is the house hunting, puppy searching for puppies I DO NOT want!  The house remodeling, or plans of remodeling...what is it with me?  It is not as if I don't have anything to do.  Hmmph.

And, why aren't you people posting anything on your blogs?  BORING!

Chocolate chip cookies and sick kids

Ok.  There is darkness still hanging on outside, and a very chilly morning.  My floors are mopped, laundry is ALL done and I sit here half proud of what a successful day was had yesterday and half, a larger half, troubled by what is to come today.  Let me explain.

So this 4 day weekend was a little bit of a bust around here.  We were on a tight budget and remained homebound.  If I had the midas touch on keeping kids entertained things might have been different.  As it was, I didn't feel well at all and it made me a tad, um, grumpy.  Try as I might, the grump was hard to shake off.  So, Friday, Saturday and Sunday were spent keeping time with ornery children, each taking their turns needing something, anything, everything, from me...sometimes not taking their turns come to think of it.  Kierstin was particularly fun.  She is, by the way, up already!  She is on my bed with juice and cartoons, but she is definitely not supposed to be up yet.  Not a good sign.  So.  I was just hanging on for dear life by the time we got to Sunday night.  I admit it.  I was not a fun, cool, full of patience and ideas kind of mom this weekend.  I was a "go find something to do, make your own waffles, and stop fighting with each other" kind of mom.  It happens.  Monday came and I just didn't feel better.  We laid around until around 10:30 and then I just had to get up and be MOM again.  The kids were actually all happy, well, satisfied and situated.  (that counts right?)  But I felt bad.  I could feel the itchings of a negligent mother and thought I needed to change my mood.  (Remember that I am not drinking cokes also.)  So, I promised the kids chocolate chip cookies, homemade.  We spent the day enjoying the beautiful weather, playing with friends and catching up with a little bit of fun before we go back to school today.  

Or, so I thought.

Yep. They are all sick.  K K K K, all of them.  Now, Larry comes home tonight.  You know what that means.  LLLLL and K K K K.  But, the floors are mopped, the laundry is done and we made homemade chocolate chip cookies.  I feel pretty good about that.  It's early in this historic day, but I am hoping for the best.  I was so looking forward to having the house back to myself for one more morning, but...

And, I was right about the chocolate chip cookies.  Of the diet devil.  (though I did not break out a coke, too.)  

I do want to add that I am particularly excited for today. I don't have the jumping beans that Oprah has about the whole thing, but I do feel a genuine thrill about the Inauguration and this new day that comes wrapped up with Obama.  I found myself tearing up many times yesterday as I watched clips of this presidential election and of this man, and his family.  I don't know what is in store but I do know that people are inspired.  America feels like a new energy is moving in.  Enjoy this historic day, put your flags out and watch along with the rest of the world.  This will be one of those days not to be missed in American History.  Like his politics or not, this is amazing.  I think I will go put my flag out now.  I don't have kids to get to school after all.