Well, here is the part where I start to think about the idea that perhaps that ship has just sailed. I am a mom and a wife now and I absolutely love it. I have not yet truly missed the acting life or pursuit of it, but I have thought that it would be in my adult life with older kids that I might pursue this again. I think that once an actor always an actor, right? So, here is the question...Do you take the class? Do you add that to your already busy schedule? I am not above being selfish, so to speak, and taking time away here and there for myself. But, do you consider taking on another responsibility with four young children when you know the amount of time it takes? Or, do you wait a few more years? I know both sides of the argument. I hear myself saying, "Of course you go for it. It's what you do. It's who you have always been." And then I hear myself saying, "It is who I was at one time. It is something that I will always cherish but should put away. I should focus on school and music and kids and the house and my marriage and my flowers and PTA and baseball and piano and on and on and on." I have truly not ached for this acting thing since leaving Salt Lake. It was a sad loss having to close the business, necessary, but very hard to do. I made a lot of mistakes then and I guess I just felt really burned out. I can't mistake the excitement I felt when I read that email though about the class. Is it something that just never goes away?
I am okay with waiting and that is likely my own insecurities getting the better of me thinking that maybe I was not as good at it as I thought I once was. Maybe I will just be a foolish mom trying to recapture her youth...since I am about to turn 35 by the way. I am great with that age, don't get me wrong. I just thought that I would have stopped having the same arguments with myself as in my twenties by now. I am not the only one. You know, the argument about getting healthy and working out and taking time for myself and finishing any number of things on a list that has been years in the making. That's where I am. Trying to decide which things on that list really should be completed and which should be retired. I am really looking forward to your feedback.
Sage wisdom from Lindsey... hmmm... shoot! That seems to be another group of brain cells that left me during child birth... Here's what I discovered in my days, or years perhaps, of floundering in the decision-making department (most of which you were witness to, or victim of.. however you choose to look at it!): no matter what anyone else says to you, no matter how brilliant or logical it may sound, you will still do what suits you best. If it's a lack of confidence holding you back, get over that and go for it. If it's because of a sense of duty to your children and you genuinely feel that they would suffer, if even a little, were you to go for it, then perhaps that is truly where your heart lies now and you can set aside the acting bug for a little while longer. My judgment of the situation, which may be completely off-base, is that you keep trying to add more and more to your plate to the point that you may not be accomplishing some of the things that are already there. It's good to have lots of goals but there's no reason to do too much at one time. You've got a lot of years left to live so pace yourself... you may drive yourself completely crazy otherwise. A sense of accomplishment is one of the best and most motivating feelings in the world so do what it takes to find that and then see where it takes you next. Lots of different thought on one matter, but there you have it from me...
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Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean!
I've seen you in action, so it's hard not to encourage you in that direction. But, as a sometimes actress, I can tell you that it's always with me and never goes away. Sometimes the feeling is so overwhelming, especially after I've seen a brilliant performance.
What I'm saying is that, even if you decide to wait a few years, you'll still feel the pull over and over again for the rest of your life. You'll get a similar email in a few years, and you'll feel the same rush that you felt when you got the one about the acting classes in the Fall. And by then, timing might be just right. Is it likely, though, that the kids' schedules will become more demanding as they get older? If so, can your heart accept the possibility that you might have to wait till you're 51?
But, I think you should do it. ;)
Who you callin a turkey....take the class and enjoy it....I am sure you waste more time in a day doing things you don't really care about than you would spend doing this thing that you really do care about...buy some Tortinos pizzas,some fruit snacks and a fresh gallon of milk so you will have quick and balanced meals for the kiddos and go have a blast acting....
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