Gratitude is a little harder to come by tonight...but it's there.

So.  It's late and I feel as if I have been run over by a big truck, you know the ones that keep wheeling in rocks and dirt to build this massive road that is clogging traffic and causing havoc in the name of progress?  That kind.

But, I would be ungrateful and a bad example if I did not find some measure of thankfulnessness at the end of this day.  First, our sister-in-law Nicole lost her  mother today.  I don't know many details, but my heart hurts for her.  I can't imagine.  Second, Kimball is...well, 12.  12 and in love with some other 12 year old girl that he texts all the time and is now getting not so great grades and talking less than nice to me.  I can take a lot, but enough is enough today.  He made me have to actually parent today.  With actual discipline.  Dangit!  I hate it when I have to do that.  But with all of that...I am grateful for his sweet, young, impressionable spirit that is trying so hard to grow up in very difficult times.  I cannot begin to explain away his actions, but I will tell you that what these kids deal with now is so far beyond anything I experienced when I was young...way back when.  It is truly a difficult road.  He is our first and we are clueless about all of this, and I am sure that we will be much better at it by the time we get to Kierstin.  For now, I am grateful for the chance to wake up tomorrow and try again.  I am grateful for the resources we have in the Scriptures and with all of the great leaders that we have at church to work with.  I can't imagine parenting alone.  There are leaders that he has grown to really respect and love and I am so grateful for them and for their work.  I am grateful for the quiet at the end of these days when I get to cry a little and pray a lot for the strength and the wisdom and the patience to be a better parent to these sweet children.  It was a tough day from start to finish, but I will blame it on the incredibly full moon that hangs tonight and hope that the morning will bring a hugs and smiles from the little ones that now sleep.

In honor of Nicole's mom, I am grateful for mine.  I am grateful for her friendship and tenacity, for her constant search for the "dream house" and for her tireless efforts in continuing to raise these 8 kids that are now accompanied by spouses and children all around.  They just keep showing up!  I am grateful for her testimony and for how much she loves my children, and me...and for how much she loves Larry.  She was the first to welcome him back into our family and has remained his supporter ever since.  She was there when he welcomed Kierstin into our fractured family and she has loved him.  I am grateful for the relationship that she has with my Dad, who I love dearly.  More than he knows I think.  I am so very thankful for the sacrifices they have made to be sealed to each other and to this family for eternity.  It has not always been easy for them either and they are still together, still going after all these years.  Thank you.