Well, we're back in school and I am tired today. There have been some great moments and some pretty good meltdowns already, but we are in full swing. It was a funny feeling seeing Kimball walk away today. It was kind of like when he started kindergarden and I watched this little boy who didn't seem big enough to handle the terrain ahead of him walk with such confidence and today was no different. Except that I don't think that he has the same confidence that he had when he was 5. I am not sure what happens to that strength, or self assurance or maybe it's just blind faith. I watched him walk into that big school with those big kids and thought he wasn't ready...but I know he is. I am not sure that I am, but that is a different story. He is so incredible to me. I think he knows that, but I really hope that knows that every moment. He is a little upset with me at the moment as I have taken his one true love. Video games. Well, the games and tv have been banned from Sunday to Friday morning, unless it is a holiday that they have off of school. That was Larry's idea to be truthful, and I was surprised. I am impressed with his tenacity with this. Of course, it is surely a heckuva lot easier to stick to your guns when you are not on the front line...but he has said to all of the kids that he means it about the games. If I could give one small bit of advice to every parent, it would be to keep the video games out as long as possible. I don't wish that they didn't have them, I just wish they, well, that Kimball didn't NEED it so much. He feels as if we are taking away a part of his life, and maybe we are. I just know that there are so many other things I want him to see and experience outside of the walls of this house and the screen that he stares at when he plays his games. Part of that is my responsibility too. I have to offer them opportunities and make them available to them. I have to follow through on adventures and not so involved in too many commitments to actually be able to play with these kids. They have more to learn than the schools are focusing on and I am sad to say that we have dropped the ball a little there. I won't let these children choose the darkness of a playroom to the shine of a beautiful day, or the sound of the ocean or the opportunity to be a part of something bigger. I know that is all very grand, but the truth is that we get so busy that one day turns into 11 years. or 35. and what have we learned? Where have we gone? Who have we met and how have they affected our lives, or ours theirs?
Forgive me, but I have just spent the better part of twenty minutes trying to explain the goodness of our role as parents in making these decisions to Kimball. He was still upset when I left the room. I am a "pick your battle" kind of person, but this is a battle I believe that I really have to stand firm on. I know he doesn't get that now...hopefully one day he will. Hopefully we all will, I suppose.
My brother went through this with his boys. When they were 11 and 9 (they are now 13 and 11), he put similar restrictions on video games. The boys--especially the older one--were so mad at the world for awhile. The older one also went through a period of actual depression for the first few months--yes, months, unfortunately--because he missed the characters in his fantasy world so much. My brother hated seeing his son so sad, but the fact that he got so depressed over the loss of this fantasy time, made him even firmer in his resolve.
ReplyDeleteMy brother and the kids' mom stuck to their guns on this one, and cured them of their addiction. They still play once in awhile, but they have developed many other interests in all the spare time they found. Most of the time the video games aren't even their first choice of activity.
So, hopefully it won't take Kimball as long as it took my nephew, but I'm sure he'll come out of it in time, too. He'll have to get through all the stages of grief on this one, I'm afraid.
I just remember how maddening it was when my nephews would constantly talk to me about the games and ask me to play with them, so I would say, "I can't. My mom doesn't allow me to play video games." I could see how confused they were that a 30-something woman had to mind her mom about that. :-D But they respected it nonetheless! Haha!
~Amy