Is it possible to be Grumpy and Grateful at the same time?

I guess when you have multiple personalities it is, right?

Ok.  I am grumpy tonight.  The kids asked me to get a good nights sleep.  I told them that it I knew I was and that I wasn't mad at them, because I am not.  They are the grateful part tonight.  Heat has settled into North Texas and it is suffocating at times.  We had camps with both boys and I can't believe any of them lasted as long as they did in this heat.  We have all four critters back under our roof tonight and I am incredibly grateful for that.  They are all healthy and well, despite a couple of nasty bruises and sensitive sunburns.  I didn't realize how empty the house was without Kimball here though.

Here's to Kimball.  He didn't want to be there.  We know that.  He has come back home at the end of a tough week, by all accounts, and he even seems older to me.  His voice seems deeper.  He is being a bit more assertive.  Now, a good night's sleep in his comfy bed might take all of that away, but today I am sort of in awe at the young man he is starting to resemble.  The little boy is still there, mostly for me.  I love that little man so very much.  

Kaden and Kyra made the most of their afternoon as well.  They did this:

It was a clever, creative silly afternoon taking empty boxes and paper towel rolls and turning them into fun.

Now, for the grouchy.  Larry has been gone for 17 days.  Camp.  Canadian Taxes.  Money.  Dust an inch thick on too many surfaces to count.  Floors need mopping.  Laundry is dirty AGAIN.  (why does that keep happening?)  I haven't worked out in weeks.  I can tell.  Moving to Vancouver?  Not moving to Vancouver.  Moving to Washington to be closer to Larry while a nice family rents our house for 9 months?  No idea!  Still waiting.  Birthday parties, baptism, teach a lesson at church on Sunday at the last minute?  Sure, no problem.  (I am actually thrilled to teach Kaden's class tomorrow.)  Have to rent a steam cleaner to rid my bedroom of a lingering smell of Atticus while we were away.  If you have lost interest in my list right about now you know some of the apathy I feel about most of it.  Don't want to even think about it.  I did tell you that there was an element of grouch today.

But with all of that I am still grateful.  (My head just spun back around.)  I am grateful for these 4 incredible children who keep things interesting.  I miss Larry more than I can tell  you.  I want to just stop worrying about so many things.  I think that it may be time for some things to get settled into and worked out so that we can just get back to the business of being a family and growing up.  

Oh, and I am incredibly sad to miss Father's Day with Larry.  More than I can even say.

Ok.  I'm done with my rant.  I just feel anxious.  Grateful, but grouchy at the same time.  I think they call that an oxymoron.  :)  Fitting.