Transition

Ok. So you know that part of child birth, that very ending part right before it's time to push. The time when you really think that something is literally trying to kill you and the medical staff you are paying to help you get through it seems to be helpless in your plight? That time that seems to go on forever, until...it stops. The baby is suddenly no longer inside of you and for a few blissful moments the pain has given way to the thrill of this newest accomplishment. Visualize, those of you who can, that period of time...some of you are more recently familiar with it than others of us...but just go there for a moment...Ya with me? Ok, that is called transition.

I have come to both hate and love that word. Now, obviously I am not pregnant, nor will I be. So this little analogy is just that, an analogy. The latest transition that I am finding myself in is still just a giant pain in the...well, you know.

From baby, to toddler, to preschool, to elementary school to middle school. No more baby to chase. So you ask yourself, or at least I did, what now? What will I achieve now that walking and talking and potty training are all checked off the list? Obviously there will be continual parenting choices and challenges, but for this moment in my life I am choosing to make it about me. (gasp!)

I know, it's not the mommy thing to do, but selfish is as selfish does and it's time. I have been reading a bit on this newest cleanse fad that Gwyneth, my pal, is raving about and it is interesting. I have read lots of books on cleanses and weight loss and being healthy. I know a lot. It is the practice and the diligence and proactive...wait, that's Larry talking. I am doing nothing to make that knowledge work for me. It isn't just about weight loss or being healthy though. It's school, and style, and singing, and travel and love and so many things that I really do cherish in this life. Life has been busy, and hard, and numbing sometimes, but happy is here these days and that makes room for growth. I am sure that we are growing when we are suffering as well, it's just not the kind of growth you get to order on a menu. It's tough. What I am saying is that I am transitioning. Into? No idea??? Where to start? No clue??? Is it worth it? Yes. Absolutely yes. The transition is hard and the stretch is necessary. As a famous fish friend once said, "just keep swimming".

Don't know at all what I will do with this yet, but this is what I am thinking about these days. Back to school. Waning summer nights. And becoming. Transitioning.