January has come and gone...

...and I don't know that I feel as if we are moving in the direction I craved at the beginning of this month.  I don't know if I can honestly say that I actually remember what the goals, or resolutions, were.  I do know that I was craving creativity and balance, momentum and grace.  When the year began I thought of menus and planning as well as ways of improving myself and those around me.  I wanted to project a new focus into the lives of my children.  I know that it starts with me and in the first week I saw that.  I felt in relative control, so to speak.  Somewhere in the middle I got tired, or busy, or both and just settled comfortably back into the warmth of routine.  Habit.  The things we do without even thinking about.  Not bad, really, just not producing the ideas and hopes and movement that I would like.  

I have spoken recently of auditioning for this play.  I have even set the appointment.  I went to the theater and marveled at their talent and a life well loved and left a few years ago.  It is a part of me, it is in me and I doubt that will ever change.  But can you go back?  Can you compete with actors who crave it still, daily and train and work and eat and sleep this craft?  Maybe.  Maybe it is not my turn to audition yet, but to pick up where I left off and study again.  Practice again.  Many years ago I worked on a play that I was not equipped for, a role that I had no way of living up to.  I had not lived enough to do it justice.  I have lived a lot more life and could now give honesty to portrayals such as that one.  That I can say I know for sure.  This is me thinking out "loud" and working through this question again.  I have felt this tug many times.  I watched the SAG awards recently and felt that pull as I listened to so many actors proclaim their pride and being called an actor.  I don't want to be an actor for any reason other than that I love it and it sort of chose me.  I think I might have continued singing more if it weren't for a couple of well placed shows in my high school days.  Reconnecting with some of those old friends has rekindled and reminded me of some wonderful times.  What does all of this mean?  Well, one, that I am considering holding off on the audition but signing up for one of the acting classes they teach at that theater and two, that I want to go back to simple, once again.  Maybe resolutions should be set and re-set every 30 days, keep ourselves connected to what we want for ourselves while dulling the sound of habit that keeps us from doing more.  Being more.

If you have read this far, you must either be very bored or a very good friend.  

Darn Weather

First, I just had to share this.  How can those little feet and those worn out pigtails and her insistence on not wearing pants that day, along with her mountain of sprinkles intended for the ice cream waiting to be enjoyed not bring a smile at the end of this week?

It made me feel better to look at this when I learned that Portillo's will not be here in time for our Super Bowl Party on Sunday.  I know.  I am disappointed as well.  It is because of the weather that gripped the country this week.  Specifically gripping Addison, IL where my Party Pack of authentic Chicago dogs is coming in from.  No one can even tell me when to expect this shipment that was due here yesterday.  Now I have to find another cool idea, at the almost last minute.  Philly Cheesesteaks or Skyline Chili?  Taco Bar?  Something new?   (Yes, this is the biggest hurdle of the day so I am quite grateful for that, but STILL!)

And, in other news, Larry leaves on Monday for quite a lengthy trip.  It may interfere with any ideas I have of auditioning right now.  I did go see a performance at that theatre last night and it was absolutely fantastic.  I have a small confession and I know how crazy it sounds...I don't actually like seeing plays or musicals all that often.  Unless I know that they will be REALLY good.  Well, I wasn't sure but I can  tell you that I would see nearly anything that this theatre does from now on.  It was truly incredible. 

That's all for now.  Think of something fun for Sunday, though the Chicago dogs will be missed.  

The "Hallelujah" Chorus is Ringing through the halls!

They are headed back to school. 

I know, take a moment and just let that soak in.  I love my children, don't get me wrong.  But my four babies along with one or two or six extra kiddos from across the neighborhood make for a very busy, loud and sometimes frustrating break.  By yesterday afternoon the children were all bouncing off the walls.  I will say though that in the last two days my house has gotten incredibly clean.  Incredibly.  Clean.  Larry is home for a few more days before he heads out to Washington DC and then somewhere in Louisiana for the BASS Championship.  And then he delicately approaches the subject of the Winter Olympics again.  He is set to go out to run some test events for about a month, that I already know...but they are asking him to reconsider coming on full time until the Games.  Full time?  I don't know yet what that means but I will keep you posted.  I do know that he is nervous about the economy so he may well take it.  But it wouldn't be the kind of thing that would move all of us up to Vancouver for a year.  Yikes.  We shall see.  Maybe I shouldn't be auditioning after all.  

To that end, I did set up an audition time.  I am wavering on which role to audition for.  I don't pass for 23, for the daughter...but I don't pass for the mother of a 23 year old yet either.  I hope I don't.  It's not film though, so I guess you just audition and see what they have it mind.  Speaking of theatre.  As you know, I have spent some time on facebook lately.  I know, I have been cheating on my blog with facebook, not cool.  In that time; however, I have found so many old friends from long, long ago.  Kathie Kynerd and Deanna Boone from MS, so many actor friends from high school days and even the Wheeler family from Hatcher road way back in Florida days.  It is a fun trip down memory lane.  Distracting, but fun.  

So.  Kimball is now on his way to school and I am headed back to my bed until little k wakes up and calls my name.  It's the least I can do on this cold and foggy morning.

Holy Facebook Batman!

Who knew!  I have been stumbling around facebook the last couple of days and I have had the great fun of finding OLD pictures of ME in theatre from a long time ago.

You have to check it out.  

The Glass Menagerie

So.  It seems that some may believe that I ought to audition.  SO, I looked up the character descriptions and here is the part that I would audition for.  No laughter at the similarities please:

Amanda Wingfield

If there is a signature character type that marks Tennessee -Williams's dramatic work, it is undeniably that of the faded Southern belle. Amanda is a clear representative of this type. In general, a Tennessee Williams faded belle is from a prominent Southern family, has received a traditional upbringing, and has suffered a reversal of economic and social fortune at some point in her life. Like Amanda, these women all have a hard time coming to terms with their new status in society—and indeed, with modern society in general, which disregards the social distinctions that they were taught to value. Their relationships with men and their families are turbulent, and they staunchly defend the values of their past. As with Amanda, their maintenance of genteel manners in very ungenteel surroundings can appear tragic, comic, or downright grotesque. Amanda is the play's most extroverted and theatrical character, and one of modern American drama's most coveted female roles (the acclaimed stage actress Laurette Taylor came out of semi-retirement to play the role in the original production, and a number of legendary actresses, including Jessica Tandy, have since taken on the role).

Maybe I could give it a shot.  :)  I suppose I could come out of semi-retirement to play such a coveted role...if they'll have me.  And even if they won't, I will have done it.  Wahoo!

Projects for the sake of Projects

Ok.  Larry has called me out.  Is it true?  Could it be?  Am I THAT person?

Do I take on projects for the sake of projects?  Is it possible that I seek out the work and distraction of projects just because?  Case in point:

I had a little "Room Mom" meeting this morning. (I am that person)  In that meeting it was shared that a particularly unkind individual would likely be our PTA president for the next two years.  Most sane people would not care, why do I care?  WHY DO I CARE?  I proceed to utter the words, "I would rather get back in a board position as VP with another clueless mom like myself than have this other person in that role."  WHAT!   I would absolutely NOT want to be on the board again.  Not under any circumstances.  Rest easy, I did not share that little thought with anyone that would actually take me up on it.  But still.  WHAT WAS I THINKING!

And then, just a couple of days ago I made what I believed to be a pretty good decision.  I thought that it was time for me to let go of the idea of acting again, ever.  EVER!  Now, some of you know what that means and some of you may think I should have thought that a long time ago.  I felt pretty good about it.  Until.  I opened an email from a local theatre who is auditioning for "The Glass Menagerie" in two weeks.  I don't know that I am right  for either of the roles in the play but the thought of it made  me a little giddy.  I actually pulled out the script, read a bit of it and started formulating  a plan, as if I would be cast in this play at the respected theatre.  Now I am not suggesting that I don't have, or once had, the talent to pull it off... but I mean, really?  I was ready to be done and move into a new phase.  Well, recognize that I had moved into that place a LONG time ago.

And then, there is the house hunting, puppy searching for puppies I DO NOT want!  The house remodeling, or plans of remodeling...what is it with me?  It is not as if I don't have anything to do.  Hmmph.

And, why aren't you people posting anything on your blogs?  BORING!

Chocolate chip cookies and sick kids

Ok.  There is darkness still hanging on outside, and a very chilly morning.  My floors are mopped, laundry is ALL done and I sit here half proud of what a successful day was had yesterday and half, a larger half, troubled by what is to come today.  Let me explain.

So this 4 day weekend was a little bit of a bust around here.  We were on a tight budget and remained homebound.  If I had the midas touch on keeping kids entertained things might have been different.  As it was, I didn't feel well at all and it made me a tad, um, grumpy.  Try as I might, the grump was hard to shake off.  So, Friday, Saturday and Sunday were spent keeping time with ornery children, each taking their turns needing something, anything, everything, from me...sometimes not taking their turns come to think of it.  Kierstin was particularly fun.  She is, by the way, up already!  She is on my bed with juice and cartoons, but she is definitely not supposed to be up yet.  Not a good sign.  So.  I was just hanging on for dear life by the time we got to Sunday night.  I admit it.  I was not a fun, cool, full of patience and ideas kind of mom this weekend.  I was a "go find something to do, make your own waffles, and stop fighting with each other" kind of mom.  It happens.  Monday came and I just didn't feel better.  We laid around until around 10:30 and then I just had to get up and be MOM again.  The kids were actually all happy, well, satisfied and situated.  (that counts right?)  But I felt bad.  I could feel the itchings of a negligent mother and thought I needed to change my mood.  (Remember that I am not drinking cokes also.)  So, I promised the kids chocolate chip cookies, homemade.  We spent the day enjoying the beautiful weather, playing with friends and catching up with a little bit of fun before we go back to school today.  

Or, so I thought.

Yep. They are all sick.  K K K K, all of them.  Now, Larry comes home tonight.  You know what that means.  LLLLL and K K K K.  But, the floors are mopped, the laundry is done and we made homemade chocolate chip cookies.  I feel pretty good about that.  It's early in this historic day, but I am hoping for the best.  I was so looking forward to having the house back to myself for one more morning, but...

And, I was right about the chocolate chip cookies.  Of the diet devil.  (though I did not break out a coke, too.)  

I do want to add that I am particularly excited for today. I don't have the jumping beans that Oprah has about the whole thing, but I do feel a genuine thrill about the Inauguration and this new day that comes wrapped up with Obama.  I found myself tearing up many times yesterday as I watched clips of this presidential election and of this man, and his family.  I don't know what is in store but I do know that people are inspired.  America feels like a new energy is moving in.  Enjoy this historic day, put your flags out and watch along with the rest of the world.  This will be one of those days not to be missed in American History.  Like his politics or not, this is amazing.  I think I will go put my flag out now.  I don't have kids to get to school after all.

Would that I could!

Would that I could!

This is what is happening at my house at this 11:53 pm hour.  I am keeping Carson tonight and I have put them both to bed once already.  That was at 10:15 and I thought that was late enough.  About 20 minutes pass and Kimball says that Carson is headed downstairs.  20 minutes after that I hear Kierstin calling me from upstairs ready to get up and play.  She and Carson quickly made their wants known...popcorn and cartoons.  They are all set up and have no need for sleep I guess.  This may be a long night.  :)

Why AM I still posting so much?

Yes.  I had a resolution to lay off the blogging.  I missed it though.  I keep in touch with you, with myself, with long lost friends from days gone by and even with Larry who reads along every now and then.  I suppose I just like being able to share thoughts and memories and new finds and to reminisce along the way.  I am working on creating more and worrying less and in working on that I have been finding resources that are helpful to me and I like to share them with you as well as keep a record of them for myself.  So, you may see new blogs over there from time to time and they may warrant looking at if you are in need of a distraction.  Or, you can just walk away from the computer and get back to work.  I don't like that idea either.  So, we chat and search and learn from each other on blogs and emails and this is my little way of keeping in touch.  

New Year's Eve Menu

Ok, so I know it's not New Year's Eve anymore, but I wanted to put down in writing what the menu was for this past festivity.  It was a huge success and I know that we are a family that tends to "forget" certain things, usually involving food and traditions, so here it is.

As you know, it is our "Nicky Nacky Snicky Snacky" tradition...crap food, or junk food, or the stuff that you don't ordinarily buy.  We were a tiny bit more advanced this year in our menu. :)

Menu

Amber's Shrimp Dip

Amber's Delicious Cream Cheese Cookie Bites w/ Cherry Topping

Mozzarella Sticks

Pizza Rolls (not needed, apparently)

Rice Krispie Treats

Kristen's 7 Layer Dip

Wings

Shrimp Cocktail

Eclairs

Baby Quiche

Dinosaur Chicken (for the kids)

Pigs in a Blanket

Larry's Artichoke Sip

Michael's Brrrrrushcetta

Skittles/ M & M's/ Reese's Pieces (long standing tradition)

Lots of Dr. Pepper

As you can see, we had lots of food.  It seemed to be just the right combination of sweet and salty and everything in between.  I think it was a great night and we had lots of fun with everyone there.  We did miss Dad, as he was sick, but I bet he won't miss next year's fun.  

That's all for now!  Have a great night.  And, by the way, Lindsey rocks with her running.  I am so NOT a runner so I am in awe!  Running in the dark cold just sounds like the beginning of a horror movie to me.  Go Lindsey!

Eastwood update

He didn't ask him for a picture!  I know that is was a little disappointment for him not have one, but I am so glad that he didn't bother him.  I just think that sometimes they should be left alone.  I get it.  Clint Eastwood.  But, let the man relax a little.  

I added another fun blog over there.  It is very crafty and cool.  I feel a new phase in my life coming on.  Bubbling just a little, a mild curiosity at the moment...but you never know.  I'm no Martha Stewart, obviously, but it might be fun.

Hmmm.

Lest we feel bad for LarBear, just know that he is hanging out with Clint Eastwood.  Well, that's a little stretch, but they just met as Mr. Eastwood is WORKING OUT at the gym where Larry is staying and doing a show.  They just met and Larry is sure to get a picture, though I asked him to leave the poor man alone.  He is on vacation after all.  But, just so ya know!  

Clint Eastwood!

Grouchy House

So, the kids are home for a 4 day weekend.  This is usually a welcome break in our home, but this time feels different.  We just had such a nice long break and then just when we are getting back into the rhythm of things...a break just long enough to need to figure out something to do.  Now, the house is a tiny disheveled, as am I for that matter.  I think we all just feel a little crummy.  What to do.  Well, I have been to the gym...yes, you should be impressed.  Upon re-entry, the house seems to have gone from disheveled to downright disastrous.  I was only gone for an hour.  ONE HOUR!  Things are coming back together as each child begrudgingly tends to one task or another.  I have the task of finishing laundry, putting it away and cleaning bathrooms.    But guess what I am doing.  You guessed it.  Surfing blogs.  And I just found one to salivate over.  This writer is incredible.  I am adding her to my blog list over there because I believe that she may be right up there with soulemama, another favorite. Actually my surfing started with her and she led me to yet another magical blog.  It is a listing of craft projects that I love.  I am not a craft person, so to speak, but I could be after looking at the delightful blogs.  I love them!

In other news...one of the funniest "Office" episodes yet.  A duel for the girl!  If you haven't watched it, you must.  Another solid distraction.

So, I am now off to my own kitchen where laundry is stacked and Kyra waits patiently for me to finish that in order to make homemade chocolate chip cookies.  How is one to resist such baked goodness when one is already avoiding coca-colas?  I have been quite successful with the cokes, but cookies might be...no!  Will be dangerous.  One of my favorite things!  That and a really good pizza, oh, and a coke with ice from Sonic.  You know I am right.  That's the stuff of diet enders.  And sweet dreams.  :)

You know you love them

Did you ever get to see any of these pictures?  I took some, Nicole took some and I think even Jessie may have taken some.  They are all on my computer and I realized that I hadn't shared them yet.  I miss Christmas.  I am a little like Kierstin about it.  Every time we pull up to the house she is so confused as to where Santa went.  Where did Christmas go?  She asks that a lot.  Where indeed?  Back to normal life and routine.  I miss Christmas.  

Hating the layout search.

So.  I am not a wizard, or anything close to it, when it comes to graphic design.  I know that there are things that I like and things that I don't.  That makes this process frustrating.  I find a look that I like and then I hate the usability, so for right now I am opting for usability until I find something I like better.  Yikes.  And I still have other things to do.  Of course, we all do.  I have to take littlest K to the doctor today for some shots...she won't like that.  In other news, the kids have a four day weekend and I haven't a clue yet what to do with them, on our new limited budget.  I will come up with something.  Should be exciting!

When DID she get so big!!!

This is why

Larry is coming home today.  He will be in this home for about 19 hours, including sleep time.  Now, there is a collective excitement bubbling over at the thought of him being home because he has been traveling.  There is another, darker feeling that comes with his return that has everything to do with cleanliness and order...or a lack thereof.  Now, I am on top of it, I assure you.  Everything is chugging along at a respectable pace these days.  Laundry is in progress, though I am to have the laundry room "cleaned out" so that he can catch up with his laundry in this short visit.  We have been cooking at home, a lot.  The garage is straightened up, and I say that loosely.  There are; however, various tasks that sit waiting, almost laughing at me and my idea that I can do it myself.  In a tragic turn, I did have to cancel...the...cleaning..........crew.  I can't even say it.  This little economic crisis has hit our home and we are counting pennies.  Larry is starting to lose contracts because the bigger companies that he has been working for are starting to cancel shows.  Nervous he is!  Nervous indeed.  So, I called and canceled my sweet Eliana last night, for the next three months.  GASP!  Will I have to actually take care of this home all by my lonesome?  Oh no, I won't.  I would prefer to either let the mess fester until I can't take it anymore or teach my certainly of age children how to do the jobs, or more likely than both...just do it myself.  eventually.

The point I am getting to is that this is why I strayed from my blog because I have so much else to do and yet I am here (kristen will love that one) and there and everywhere I should not be because I should be doing this.  If you are reading my blog at any hour between now and around 3pm you are doing the same thing, avoiding...er, being entertained...er, learning!  That's what I am doing.  Learning from other bloggers that life is funny, life is short and darnit, Larry is leaving again at 10 tomorrow morning and if EVERYTHING AIN'T DONE...life will still go on.  Happily, I might add.

I do have some pictures to update here, but...see above...I will get back to it tomorrow.

COKE UPDATE:  Not one yesterday!  Not one, so far, today.  (It is to be one of those days though, so I make no firm promises.  maybe I will go for a diet coke.  blek.)

My friends are all kind of busy tonight.

So I turned on my tv.  And there on the screen appeared all of my closest friends.  They all look so lovely tonight.  Shiny even.  I thought that Kate and I might hang out and play a round of UNO, but she was busy winning an award.  Especially shiny tonight.  And of course Meryl is there, she never shows up for UNO though.  She says it bores her.  Scrabble is more her game.  Now, Drew looks just this side of ghastly, in my personal opinion.  I liked the dress but he didn't tell me that she would floof that hair up like that.  Yuck.  Now, the men look lovely.  Johnny Depp was just delish and then of course there is Brad and Tom and Aaron.  (Eckhart, of course.)  Oh, I hear the chimes of the intro coming back on and I must go back.  Here's to guilty pleasures and shiny people!  They seem to be having a great time.

And...scene.

Well, this is a good one

Ok, I am still not so good at the choosing a layout thing...no, I can choose many, but getting the downloaded the right way is kind of irritating.  So, we'll go with this.

So, it has been some time and I should say that we are off to a good start this new year.  I don't have any big stories but we have had lots of mini-victories this past week or so.  Larry is in Detroit..SNOWING and 12 degrees or so.  You know how funny that is.  Actually, he is kind of miserable up there and isn't sure whether or not he can get home on the only day that he gets home in three weeks.  Fortunately he is keeping busy as many of his friends and co-workers are having a tough time finding work.  That keeps him on his toes.  

I feel as if all of the children grew a few inches in the last few weeks.  I look at them and they are all so big.  Overnight.  I can't believe it.  I am working towards being healthier.  I am looking for ways to stay active and I think I am possibly close to weaning the cokes completely out of my system.  Cold turkey does not work for me.  I am less than pleasant those days.  SO, I am down to one a day this week.  I can say that Kimball put his arms around me yesterday and looked at me and said "You're losing weight Mom".  I like that kind of hug.

Oh...and look what I found!!!  Michael lost this on the one night that he stayed here and I just found it...under Kimball's night stand in his room.  I thought that Dante had some aversion to our house...turns out this book just really wanted to stay here with Kimball.  :)

Under Construction

Ok, yes, I am sure that I should be blogging.  In fact, I have missed it.  I think of things all day long that I think I want to jot down and then I think...no, I am working on something else.

FINE!  I will work on this.  First, I am playing with the layout, so bear with me.

Enjoyable Resolutions Worth Sharing

So, I am obviously still around and just read this article that I thought worth passing on.  AND!  I just watched something that has to be the best guilty pleasure..."True Beauty"!  Look it up and you will laugh away your day!  It is truly hilarious!

Enjoy!

10 Best New Year's Resolutions
Resolutions are usually difficult to keep because the go directly against your natural grain and are too much like giving things up for Lent. Let's have a few that create a new level of personal comfort.

http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/101216/10_best_new_years_resolutions.html

2009 as of today

I wrote that last entry back in December.  I had such clarity that night and wanted to capture what I was feeling before all of the games began with family Christmas festivities, and there have been plenty.  We have had so much celebrating and partying.  I am so grateful for the family that I have, near and far.  It has been such a treat to share this sweet Christmas with cousins and brothers and sisters, to have what can only be described as somewhat organized chaos and have the chance to catch up with each other.  With that amount of fun however, there has been limited time to reflect on 2008 and plan for 2009.  On the line of self-mastery, I have decided to slow things down with the blog.  I mean, it has been really slow this last week or so, but for the longer term I want to commit myself to eliminating some unnecessary distractions.  I admit that I spend entirely too much time here.  I check the emails and look at houses that I am not buying.  I post pictures and blog stalk like the rest of you.  But really, I have so many things that need my attention and this is my way of avoiding.  So, forgive my selfish endeavor, but I am going to make the commitment to spend far less time on my computer and more time in my home with the children and focusing on some of the things that get pushed aside.  I will, of course, catch up when needed, but I will have to say good night for a time in the hopes that I might tune in to my life a little more.